"Beloved,
restoration is your portion from Me. I restore your soul, your
heart and every other part of your life (Psalms 23:3). I delight
in restoring everything, even down to the cellular level, to the
most intrinsic fiber of your being and thinking. There is always
a battle to prevent this, a battle between light and darkness. It
started at creation. I won then and I am still winning.
"In fact I have already won the greatest prize of all, you
(Hebrews 12:3). You and you alone are the greatest treasure of My
heart... the greatest delight to any given day. I take care of
what I treasure and I take care of you." |
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RESTORING YOUR MARRIAGE
Recognizing that these are confusing and controversial
subjects with many, I believe that it is important to address the
issues from a Scriptural view. Although this writing will attempt
to explain some major difficulties with divorce and remarriage,
it is not intended to condemn or offend anyone who has been
divorced and is now remarried.
I. Some Biblical references to the purpose of
marriage.
A. Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own
image, in the image and likeness of God created him; male and
female created them."
* God created us as sexual beings,
and He said that is good.
B. Genesis 2:18 "And the LORD God said, It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper for
him."
* God ordained marriage with the
first purpose being of companionship.
C. Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh."
* The purpose is to become one
flesh. Although this definitely involves the physical aspect, it
also involves the soul (mind, will, and emotions) and the
spirit.
D. Matthew 19:5 "And said, For this cause shall a
man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and
they twain shall be one flesh?"
* The couple is to leave parents and
cleave to one another into a permanent union.
Mark 10:6-8 "But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they
twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one
flesh."
* Mark repeats the outline for
clarity. Many problems occur when a couple step from under the
authority of their parents to get married. Additional problems
occur when a parent tries to control the couple's
marriage.
E. Genesis 1:28 "And God blessed them, and God
said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the
earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea,
and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that
moveth upon the earth."
* One purpose of marriage is
procreation (child bearing).
F. Ephesians 5:31-32 "For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife,
and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I
speak concerning Christ and the church."
* We can see here a picture of
Christ and His Church. Marriage is a picture of the eternal union
between Christ and His bride, the Church.
II. Marriage Vows are to be taken solemnly.
A. We should understand that the marriage vows are before God as
well as men.
B. It is common that a couple make a vow before God "unto
death do us depart".
C. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 "When thou vowest a vow unto
God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay
that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldest not
vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay."
* This is God's view of vows. He
take marriage vows quite seriously.
III. Illegal Marriages (From a Biblical view).
A. Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with
mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."
B. Romans 1:26-27 "For this cause God gave them up
unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural
use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men,
leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one
toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and
receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was
meet."
C. Leviticus 20:21 "And if a man shall take his
brother's wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his
brother's nakedness; they shall be childless."
Matthew 14:3-4 "For Herod had laid hold on John,
and bound him, and put him in prison for Herodias' sake, his
brother Philip's wife. For John said unto him, It is not
lawful for thee to have her."
D. Leviticus 18:18 "Neither shalt thou take a wife
to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the
other in her life time." Leviticus 20:11
"And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath
uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely
be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." I
Corinthians 5:1 "It is reported commonly that there
is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much
as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his
father's wife."
E. Matthew 1:19 "Then Joseph her husband, being a
just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was
minded to put her away privily."
* Joseph thought that Mary had been
unfaithful during the engagement period. This would be considered
a fraudulent relationship. (One was allowed to put away their
"engaged ... wife to be" if she was unfaithful during
the engagement period.)
Divorce:
I. Some Scripture passages on the subject of divorce.
A. Malachi 2:14-16 "Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because
the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy
youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy
companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one?
Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he
might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and
let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For
the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:
for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of
hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not
treacherously."
* God hates divorce! When one puts
away his wife he deals treacherously with her. This means that he
puts her in a position of temptation to have a relation with
another man.
B. I Corinthians 7:10-11 "And unto the married I
command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from
her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or
be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away
his wife."
* We understand that from this
passage that divorce is generally not permitted.
C. Matthew 19:6 "Wherefore they are no more twain,
but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not
man put asunder." Mark 10:9 "What
therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
asunder."
* God commands us not to seek
divorce!
D. Matthew 19:7-8 "They say unto him, Why did
Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put
her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of
your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the
beginning it was not so." Mark 10:4-5
"And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of
divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said
unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this
precept."
* God did not intend for divorce to
occur. In the Old Testament, God only allowed a separation
because of their hardness of heart.
E. I Corinthians 7:15 "But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to
peace."
* Separation is allowed when the
unbelieving spouse demands separation by leaving.
II. When is divorce right? (The "exception
clause")
A. Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That
whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of
fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall
marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall
put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry
another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery."
* The word translated
"fornication" is Matthew can only mean in the context
of these scriptures "an illegal marriage relationship"
which in fact should be dissolved. Again, illegal marriages would
be pertaining to "incest" or "sodomite" or
"fraudulent" marriage relations.
B. Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That
whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed
adultery with her already in his heart."
* If "adultery" was the
exception, then a woman would have grounds for divorce the first
time her husband looked with lust upon another woman.
III. The Nature of divorce.
A. I Corinthians 7:15 "But if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to
peace."
* The separated partner is not under
the law (the legal control) of their spouse.
B. Matthew 5:32 "But I say unto you, That
whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of
fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall
marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall
put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry
another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery." Luke 16:18
"Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another,
committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away
from her husband committeth adultery."
* The scripture does not indicate a
freedom to remarry! Please note that the scriptures suggest the
idea of "adultery" when remarriage occurs. How can
adultery be involved if "divorce" is with a freedom to
remarry????
IV. A look at the penalty for adultery in the Old Testament
and the New Testament.
A. Leviticus 20:10 "And the man that committeth
adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth
adultery with his neighbor's wife, the adulterer and the
adulteress shall surely be put to death."
* In the O.T. the penalty for
adultery was not divorce, but stoning.
B. John 8:4-11 "They say unto him, Master, this
woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the
law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest
thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to
accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on
the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued
asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is
without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And
again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which
heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one
by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus
was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus
had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto
her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned
thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do
I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."
* Here, Jesus taught the principles
of forgiveness and repentance.
Remarriage:
I. Remarriage from a Scriptural view.
A. Mark 10:11 "And he saith unto them, Whosoever
shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery
against her." Luke 16:18 "Whosoever
putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery:
and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband
committeth adultery."
* Remarriage is not permitted after
divorce.
B. I Corinthians 7:27 "Art thou bound unto a wife?
seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a
wife."
* One was not to remarry after being
loosed from a marriage.
C. I Corinthians 7:11 "But and if she depart, let
her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let
not the husband put away his wife."
* One was to remain unmarried after
been loosed.
D. Romans 7:2-3 "For the woman which hath an
husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth;
but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her
husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to
another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her
husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no
adulteress, though she be married to another man."
* One is only set free to remarry
through the death of their spouse.
E. Leviticus 21:7 "They shall not take a wife that
is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away
from her husband: for he is holy unto his God."
* A priest was not to marry a
divorced person. Revelation 1:6 "And hath made us
kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and
dominion for ever and ever. Amen."
* Believers are to be kings and
priests unto God.
II. Looking at the "she may go" clause.
A. Deuteronomy 24:1-2 "When a man hath taken a
wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no
favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in
her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in
her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed
out of his house, she may go and be another man's
wife."
* The "she may go" does
not denote permission to remarry, but the matter of fact that she
does remarry. The "may" indicates
"perhaps".
B. Deuteronomy 24:3-4 "And if the latter husband
hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in
her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter
husband die, which took her to be his wife; her former husband,
which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after
that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and
thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God
giveth thee for an inheritance."
* The woman is considered
"defiled" and her original husband is not to remarry
her again.
C. Jeremiah 3:1 "They say, If a man put away his
wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he
return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted?
but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return
again to me, saith the LORD."
From a psychological view, many people get married thinking that
marriage will solve their problems when it just compounds them.
Others leave a marriage to get away from problems rather that
facing them and submitting them to God for Him to work in their
lives. Furthermore, many people who are divorced get remarried
thinking that the new marriage will resolve their issues only to
find that they have carried their issues into the new
relationship. The baggage from one marriage is just carried into
the new marriage. Furthermore, the new marriage partner is almost
always compared to the previous one in most every way including
sexually. Personal note: I am convinced that God is merciful and
full of grace and is willing to work in our lives no matter what
state of matrimony we are in. However, "the state of
matrimony" does effect how God works in our lives.
1. If you are single. Carefully consider if or not you are to be
married and to whom you are to marry. God will lead you to make
the right decision. Marriage is to be a life time commitment.
2. If you are married. Submit your marriage to God and let Him
resolve the issues.
3. If you are divorced. Let God be your husband and allow Him to
be the provider for your life.
Restoring Relationships
If you are have marriage difficulties and/or looking at getting a
divorce, please prayerfully consider the following material. God
can intervene and change what seems like impossible
relationships. Mark 9:23 "Jesus said unto him, If
thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that
believeth." Even if you are divorced and you or your
spouse has not remarriage, then consider what God can do in
restoring your marriage.
People, by themselves, can not rebuild a broken marriage.
Palms 127:1 "Except the LORD build the house, they
labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the
watchman waketh but in vain." God is the Restorer!
Joel 2:21 "Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice:
for the LORD will do great things." Joel 2:25
"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath
eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm,
my great army which I sent among you." Isaiah
58:12 "And they that shall be of thee shall build the
old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many
generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the
breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in."
The following steps should be taken to restore a proper
relationship with your wife. Each step should be taken in proper
order and that with proper counsel. Do not omit any steps.
I. Be sure that you are saved. Jeremiah 29:13 "And
ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with
all your heart."
A. Romans 3:10 = There is none righteous.
B. Romans 3:23 = All have sinned.
C. Romans 5:12 = The penalty is spiritual death.
D. Romans 6:23 = The wages of sin is (spiritual)
death.
E. Isaiah 53:6 = Jesus took our sin upon himself.
F. Romans 5:8 = Jesus died for us.
G. Romans 10:9-10 = You must give you life to Jesus
letting Him become you Lord (ruler, king, boss).
II. Be sure that you have victory over sin. Psalms 66:18
"If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear
me."
A. Acknowledge and ask God to release you from the effects of the
sins of your forefathers (parents, grandparents, & etc.)
Exodus 20:5, Jeremiah 14:20.
B. Acknowledge and ask forgiveness of any known sin in your own
life. I John 1:9.
C. See yourself joined together unto Jesus in his death and
resurrection (see yourself dead to sin but alive to
righteousness). Romans 6:1-18.
III. Be sure that you have a clear conscience before God. Acts
24:16 "And herein do I exercise myself, to have
always a conscience void of offense toward God, and toward
men." Also see: Hebrews 9:14; 10:22.
Get A Clear Conscience:
A. List and forgive all the offenses of your wife. Luke 11:4,
Matthew 18:21-25.
B. List and personally ask your wife to forgive you of any
offenses that she have against you. Matthew 5:23-24.
1. Admit that you were wrong (without blaming them).
2. Say, "Please forgive me".
3. Try to get a positive answer from your wife recognizing that
she may have difficulty forgiving you. Proverbs 18:19.
C. Ask God to heal your broken and bruised heart. Isaiah
53:3-5, Luke 4:18, Psalms 147:3.
D. Ask God to replace hurt and bitterness with His love for your
wife. Ephesians 4:31-32, I John 4:10-11.
IV. Join in prayer with your wife to bind the work of Satan in
both of your lives. Matthew 18:18-20, Mark 3:27, Jude
1:9.
V. Pray a "wall" or "hedge of thorns" about
your wife to protect her from wrong outside influence and to
bring her into proper relationship with God and with you. Job.
1:10, Hosea 2:5-7.
A. Pray according to the Scriptures (God's will). I John
5:14-15.
B. Scriptural basis: (1) Marriage partner = Matthew 19:6,
(2) Lost person = I Timothy 2:4, II Peter 3:9, Praying For
The Unsaved, (3) In authority over = I Timothy 2:1-8, (4)
Children = Ephesians 6;:1-3, (5) In authority under =
Ephesians 6:5-8, (6) Fathers = Ephesians 6:4,
Colossians 3:20.
VI. Begin to prayerfully tear down the stronghold with the mighty
Word of God. Ephesians 6:10-20, II Corinthians 10:4.
VII. Begin to rebuild your marriage on the Word of God. II
Timothy 3:16-17, James 1:21-25.
THE PURPOSES OF:
I. "Binding Satan".
Satan and his demon powers, which have access to the minds of
people, through thought suggestion lie to, deceive, and lead
people away from the truth and into spiritual blindness. A
Believer, when in agreement with another Believer, has the
authority to "bind" Satan and his demon powers in the
Name of Jesus. That is, a Believer can put a stop to the work of
Satan in the life of another person. When Satan is bound, the
person is freed to think without direct intervention from Satan.
(Matthew 18:18-20, Mark 3:27, Jude 1:9)
II. Praying "the hedge".
A. One purpose of the hedge is to protect one from wrong outside
influence. Satan and his demon powers also influence people from
the outside (1) through temporally fulfilling one's wrong
goals, (2) through the wrong influence of other people, and (3)
through deceiving circumstances.
B. The second purpose of the hedge is to bring one under the
direct influence of God. God can put such great pressure (through
other people and circumstances) on that person that they will
change their mind and desire to be brought into a proper
relationship with God and also others. Note: (Hosea 2:5-7)
(1) she would not find her paths or wrong goals would not be
fulfilled, (2) she would not overtake her lovers or wrong
influence would be beyond her reach, (3) she would not find her
lovers or wrong influence could not be found, and (4) God would
cause her to desire to return to her husband or God will directly
influence by pressure to bring about a change of mind.
God will not violate a person's will, but the pressure that
God can put on one may be unbearable. God knows just what
pressure to use if ever that person will change their mind.
Examples: The Pharaoh who said that he would not let the people
go, later under pressure did let them go (actually drove them
out) (Exodus 5:2, 13:17). Saul, a man who was killing
Believers, met Jesus and became a Believer himself. (Acts
(9:1-6).
III. "Casting down strongholds".
Satan and his demon powers plant wrong thoughts in the mind of a
person which becomes strongholds for Satan (especially as the
person acts upon those thoughts) which keep that person from
doing what is right.
A Believer may ask God to cast down those strongholds of wrong
thoughts in that person by implanting the truths of specific
scriptures which are in contrast with the wrong thoughts. One
should ask God to reveal the strongholds in the life of the other
person, find the scriptures that are in contrast to the wrong
thoughts, and then begin to ask God to tear down those
strongholds based on the scripture. When the strongholds are torn
down the person is free to think the right thoughts.
(Ephesians 6:10-20, II Corinthians 10:4) And these
strongholds also apply to yourself.... You can tear them down
through our Lord and Savior - God Almighty.
 
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God's
Love From Genesis Through The Revelation.
The enemy uses every
opportunity he can. He roars like a lion to intimidate you and
will turn everything into an open door if allowed. Make no room
for him. Close every door. Confess every sin and break agreement
with every impure and unprofitable word spoken by you or over
you.
you must remember the enemy will use any opportunity he can to
rob your future and your hope (John 10:10). He
doesn't know the future, yet he senses
upcoming victories I have planned for your life. He senses and
knows you have an incredible destiny. He has heard the words of
your mouth declaring the things of purpose contained in your
heart. What he didn't know before you spoke he knows now;
therefore it is time for a little
housecleaning - a little housekeeping. It is
time to put off any aspect of the old man (Ephesians
4:22) |
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